This is a voluntary opt-in advertisement. Any profit generated goes to Comic Fury for hosting.

blog archives

Archive

1st Jun 2011, 6:17 AM

Antihero

Movies that should have been great (but weren't)

Sorry, guys, I know I promised a comic today, but the library's computers were in maintenence today, so I couldn't get a comic together. I'll try again tomorrow. However, I did promise something extra, so I guess that'll have to do for now. So, without further ado, I give you:

 

Movies that should've been great (but were ruined by small changes)

5: X-men Origins: Wolverine

How it should've been great:

Many, many ways. For starters, it had Gambit in it, who, along with Deadpool, was one of the most requested characters from the X-Men mythos for the next movie after X3. Secondly, it had Deadpool in it. Oh, yeah, and it had cameos from Emma Frost, Cyclops, etc, etc. Plus it actually had a proper actor playing Sabretooth, as opposed to his_previous_appearance. That is, the adequately named, Tyler Mane. It was going to be awesomeness of epic proportions.

 

So why wasn't it?:

Deapool was in it.

 

Buh?:

Okay then, let's do a comparison. First; the Deadpool from the comics:

This is a man who laughs in the face of danger; who describes himself as (no joke) a cross between a Shar Pei and Ryan Reynolds. He is insane, uses both a sword and a gun at the same time, and has fought along sides people such as Spiderman, The Punisher, and the X-Men.

This is the Deadpool from the movies:

This is a man who laughs in the face of danger; who is Ryan Reynolds. He is insane, uses two swords and a gun at the same time (not really, but he still uses two swords), and who is also The_Green_Lantern. Oh, and then they go and do this to him:

Son of a bi-

 

4: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

How it should've been great:

This movie should have been awesome. The first movie was all about the origins of the Fantastic Four. This one was when we were finally going to see them face off against a big bad, like Galactus. Galactus was the villain in the Fantastic Four series. He was a huge, kick-ass villain who made even Doctor Doom quiver in his pansy little boots. The man ate worlds. Not just roughed them up a little for looking at him funny, HE ATE THEM BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY. This should give you an idea of why is was so disappointing when:

 

So why wasn't it?:

They turned Galactus into a cloud.

 

Buh?:

No, seriously. They made him into a giant cloud that sort of looked like it might have had a shadow on it that may have been cast by someone wearing a shoddy, home-made Galactus costume, but only if you squinted and were kind of drunk.

 

Really.

 

Damnit, Marvel, stop making crappy comic book movies.

 

3: Constantine

Damnit, DC!

Why it should have been awesome:

It was Hellblazer, damnit! This comic was the epitomy of what an Indie comic should have been like. It stuck it to the two main comic book companies. Even when Vertigo got taken over by DC, it still had some semblance of respect.  And, actually, the movie did a fairly good job of conveying the awesomeness of the comics. The man fights demons. The devil brings him back to life because he doesn't want Heaven to have him.  This is awesome!

 

So why wasn't it?:

Two words: Keanu Reeves.

 

Buh?:

Okay, look, in the comics, John Constantine is a wise-cracking, chain smoking paranormal detective. So for cryin' out loud, DC, get someone with more than two facial expressions to play him!

I'm not kidding.

 

2: Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

Why it should have been Awesome:

It was George Lucas' return to the Star Wars universe! We actually got to see Yoda and Obi Wan in action! Anakin Skywalker as a kid!

 

So why wasn't it?:

Midiclorians

 

Buh?:

Okay, seriously, if you were a fan of the Star Wars trilogy back when they were first released (late seventies to early eighties. Before my time, but work with me here, I know what I'm talking about), the Jedi were the epitome of cool. They had cool laser swords and freaking magic powers. The Force was every fanboy's dream. It led many children of the 80s and 90s to try to kill their teachers with their minds (Okay, that one was speaking from experience, but I digress). So it was a huge thing for George Lucas to release a prequel trilogy. Huge.

So many a fan lined up for hours, in the rain, waiting to see how the story begins. Only to have their dreams shattered. By Midiclorians.

With one line, the Force goes from being mystical and cool, to being a magical parasite. You'll notice that they are never mentioned again in anything. Except for forums of nerds raging about how it should never have happened.

 

Oh, and also, giant frogs.

 

1: I Am Legend

Why it should have been Awesome:

It's Will Smith fighting vampires in a post-apocalyptic New York City. If that isn't awesome to you, you either have no soul, or are a vampire.

Or this guy...

 

DAMNIT, JAR JAR, GET OUt OF MY BLOG!

 

So why wasn't it?:

People thought the original ending was too depressing.

 

Buh?:

The original ending for I Am Legend (based on the book of the same name) had Smith's character discover that the vampire-creature things were only after him because he was capturing and experimenting on them to try to find a cure. A process that, I imagine, would be incredibly painful. However, the entire point of the title is that he is their boogeyman; the legend in their ghost stories. So they changed the ending, completely disregarding the fact that it changed the entire meaning of the title, which was the entire. Freaking. Point.

 

And then they killed the dog.

 

You heartless bastards.

23rd May 2011, 3:22 AM

Antihero

Spoilers ahoy

So I went to see Sucker Punch yesterday.

Although I loved the movie, I found the plot to be slightly... convoluted. I mean, Wayne (my cousin) came out of the movie and still wasn't quite sure what had happened, and I think I understand why (*Spoilers from here until the end of the paragraph. Skip ahead if you don't want it ruined). The movie has two layers, the real world, in which the girls are trapped in the mental institution (which is a front for a whore-house, so I guess it's sort of like 2 and a half layers?) and then Baby Doll's 'dreams/hallucinations.' But what sort of threw me is that when the girl/s (I won't tell you who makes it and who doesn't) escape, the bus on which they leave is being driven by the old grizzled mentor type character from the dreams, so it sort of crosses over.

But regardless, a good movie nonetheless. Which was a surprise. With the five main characters being of the attractive female persuation, I didn't really thing that it'sd have too much of a storyline, so I was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't just about the 'eye-candy,' unlike some movies (*Cough*Tomb Raider*Cough*). And, of course, it was directed by Zack Snyder (300 and Watchmen) so of course, the visuals were insane.

 

- Because I Can...

4th May 2011, 7:37 AM

Antihero

So, then...

So my bike disintegrated today. I know, I know, you're probably all like, 'Oh, here's Nathan with one of his stupid jokes again', but no.

My bike is now in three pieces.

The handle-bars, the front wheel and the rest of the framework are all seperate now. They are held together only by the brake lines.

Yeah.

So anyway, I went to see Battle: Los Angeles and Limitless recently (read: in the last fortnight) and I wasn't disappointed. That's not to say they're great, but they could've been worse. Limitless has a cool concept (struggling writer discovers a drug that increases his mental facilities by over a thousand percent) and it stars Bradley Cooper, which means it's automatically okay in my books. Bradley Cooper is a severely underrated actor in my opinion, although at times it seems like the story let the movie down at times.

Battle: Los Angeles, on the other hand, had awesome special effects, huge explosions and Michelle Rodrigues, plus it starred Two-Face from the Dark Knight, which means it could have sucked and I still would have gone to see it. As a side note here, when Michelle Rodrigues walked on-screen for the first time in the movie, one of my friends leaned over to me and sort of whispered 'It's her kind of movie, I guess.' I sort of thought about that for a moment before I whispered back 'Well, look at her. It's not like she can play a more feminine role.' Seriously, Michelle Rodrigues is manlier than Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson combine- oh wait, I guess that's not saying that much...

 

- Because I Can...

19th Apr 2011, 10:22 PM

Antihero

Okay, let's try that again.

Sorry for not updating in ages, but I've been busy finding and starting my new job. And moving house. And attending two funerals. And- well, you get the point.

 

But this shall be changed now! (Because I've actually got a det timetable with work now). The comics will remain updating Monday Wednesday and Friday, starting.. lessee, carry the oe.. oh, right. TODAY! This afternoon I'll add a comic and (hopefully) finish off the current storyline. :D YAYZ!

 

Oh, and also thanks to Hythlodeus, Jay042, and Jacob Gristlewood for the guest strips and for helping the site not die while I've been away.

 

Anyways, awesome. Be back later with a comic. Promise.

- Because I Can...

 

6th Apr 2011, 10:24 AM

Antihero

LIES!

Okay, that was a lie. Because I don't actually have a scanner at my current address, so I'll have to be doing everything with the library scanner now. Check back in next week.

This is a voluntary opt-in advertisement. Any profit generated goes to Comic Fury for hosting.